Today is the day my arse has gone panoramic.
I have put on so much weight those last 2 weeks that whilst walking, I can actually feel the delayed motion of the left arse cheek gravitating back towards the ground, as the right arse cheek attempts to make a glorious escape from its denim prison.
Note to Self: Must go back to the gym next week or I will be the prime suspect for the ginormous craters suspiciously popping in Siberia right now.
Oopsie.
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